


Behind the Shit

by dreaminginside



Series: Talk Shit Get Hit [2]
Category: Topp Dogg
Genre: Alternate Universe - High School, Gay Stuff, M/M, idiot boyfriends
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-11-22
Updated: 2013-11-22
Packaged: 2018-01-02 07:45:25
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 811
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1054247
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/dreaminginside/pseuds/dreaminginside
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Keep talking shit, keep getting hit.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Behind the Shit

**Author's Note:**

> these are drabbles set in mine and pro's talk shit get hit verse

**Einstein**

Black Friday is a deeply disturbing day on Yoonchul’s calendar.

This fateful year in particular Yoonchul knows is going to be an absolute nightmare, as Taeyang has his heart set on some ungodly large television that will likely barely even fit on their wall.

“Taeyang, we don’t even need a new television,” Yoonchul pleads uselessly as they pull up to walmart at five thirty in the morning, Taeyang already looking out for blood. Honestly, as long as there aren’t any police reports filed this time, Yoonchul will consider the outing a success. “Can we please just go home?”

Taeyang looks at Yoonchul like he’s grown a third head, laughs at him, and then grabs his hand to drag him out of the car and straight towards Yoonchul’s death.

Somewhere between Taeyang knocking over a particularly rotund man and Yoonchul apologizing profusely to a mother whose child got in the way of Taeyang and a discounted PS4, Taeyang picks up a particularly angry looking beta fish. 

Five hours later, they sit at their kitchen table and look at the fish that sits in a particularly large mug that Yoonchul scrounged up. The Hunt For The Television also bore fruit, the stupidly large thing sitting on their sofa. Yoonchul isn’t sure which on he is more concerned about honestly, but chooses to focus on the fish.

“Taeyang,” He starts, eyebrows furrowing as he tries to figure out how the fish even got into their cart. Probably somewhere between the disaster in aisle eight and the incident with the axe. “Why do we have a fish?”

“He needs a name,” Taeyang grumbles, shrugging off the question in typical fashion. Yoonchul wants to bang his head on the table. “I think we should call him Dick Lord.”

“Einstein,” Yoonchul blurts out, slightly unconsciously. He wants to punch himself in the throat and it isn’t even lunchtime yet. “We can’t name it Dick Lord, how would I ever tell anyone what its name is?”

“You don’t even want him, your opinion is invalid,” Taeyang waves his arm around, nearly knocking over Einstein maybe Dick Lord. “This is our first child, how can you be like this?”

Yoonchul’s eyes grow to the size of saucers, and he scoots his chair back, walks to their bedroom, crawls into bed, and refuses to get up for three hours. 

They settle on Einstein The Dick Lord, ETDL for short.

**Water Parks**

As a general rule, Yoonchul is very wary of group outings.

Going out with Taeyang alone is risk enough, but adding others into the equation increases the chances of a hospital visit by at least a margin of seventy four percent. He tries explaining this to Taeyang when he suggests their motley crew take a day to the water park, but predictably Taeyang laughs, calls him a nerd, and kisses him hard enough that’s he’s dazed enough to be dragged out.

Taeyang punches Hyosang out when he tells him he’s too short for any of the coasters, which leads to an all out brawl in which Seokjin, Yoonchul, and Sangdo stand at the side and do The Usual. The Usual consists of Seokjin pretending he doesn’t know any of them, least of all Hyosang as the other begins to cry because Taeyang poked him in the eye. Yoonchul reminisces on What If he had gone to Oxford, dreaming of not having to wrap bandages around his boyfriend’s head for once. Sangdo picks the two arguing boys up and drags them out, kicking and screaming.

“At least no one is in the hospital,” Taeyang says later as Yoonchul exiles him to the couch. Yoonchul admits it’s almost admirable that Taeyang can stay this bull headed in all scenarios, almost able to hear Hyosang’s _but babe_ through their thin apartment walls. “Your nerd math was wrong.”

Yoonchul tries to suffocate him with a pillow.

**Sausages**

One night, Taeyang laments that their whole friend group is one big sausage fest.

Yoonchul stares, and feels something in his head break.

 _You’re gay_ , is what he’s dying to say, it rolls around in his mouth as he feels the tension of exams and work and living with Taeyang begin to build up to a head. _You’re so ridiculously gay why does it matter you don’t have to say anything you were far enough up my ass last night to attest to any doubts that you are so incredibly gay why does it matter_. 

Taeyang punches him in the arm when he’s been silent for going on ten minutes, and then shrugs, standing on tip toes to rest his head on Yoonchul’s shoulder. Yoonchul thinks that maybe this will be the end, but then there’s warm breath on his neck.

“I guess Hyosang’s anime excuse for a boyfriend is close enough to a girl, I think he makes Hyosang call him princess in bed.”


End file.
